She Just Wants to Forget
by authorjazmyne
Summary: Sharon/Brenda prompt story. Prompt: Forget. Given to me by a friend who wished to remain anonymous.


Thanks to that amazing person who requested this.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything.

**Forget**

Right foot. Left foot. Right foot. Left foot. Sharon's blood pumps through her veins with each pounding of her foot against the treadmill. Her breath is getting heavier as she picks up the pace with her feet. She was hoping to clear her mind as she ran, but that idea backfired quickly. The same thoughts she was hoping to erase are the same that flood her brain.

"_You can't keep pretendin' like nothin' happened," Brenda had said, her mouth close to Sharon's ear as she stepped behind her. Sharon jumped as a shiver moved through her spine. Brenda moved closer so she was pressed against Sharon's back, her hands coming to rest on her hips. _

_Sharon looked around them. They were alone, but they were hardly at the right place for this. Anyone could walk around the corner and see them standing there. At least she knew it was a blind spot and the camera wouldn't catch the interaction. She could feel the heat move through her body from where Brenda touched her. She could feel Brenda's touch as if there were no barriers between her hands and her body. _

"_Chief-" _

"_Brenda," Brenda corrected. "I think after the other night, the least you can do is call me Brenda." _

_Sharon nodded, her head turning into Brenda's, Brenda's lips touching her ear. She moaned despite herself, her eyes closing, arousal forming in the pit of her stomach and down lower. "Brenda," she whispered. "What are you doing?" _

_Brenda smiled against her ear before she felt a wet tongue lightly trace the shell. She shivered and could barely handle standing upright. "I need to talk to you," Brenda whispered. "I want to see you," she went on before nipping her ear gently. _

_Sharon heard the sound of heels clicking from a distance and jumped away, flushed as she put an appropriate amount of space between them. She looked into Brenda's eyes and wondered if her own had already started to darken like Brenda's had. This woman, this rule-breaking, hotheaded, infuriating woman was getting under her skin like nobody else ever had. Before she had the chance to say anything, the person she heard coming appeared and she and Brenda looked away from each other. But Sharon knew their conversation was hardly over – it had barely begun. _

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. The sound of her steps on the treadmill vibrate through her. She can feel each and every step. She can feel her body as it starts to grow sweaty and come alive in a way that only running can accomplish – well, at least that's what she thought until the other day. Each step brings back another memory of that night, the night she had apparently stopped thinking. She can still feel Brenda's body against her, smell her skin, hear the way the woman moaned her name in her ear. Sharon groans, her pace quickening again as she tries to forget.

_It all happened so quickly. The months of flirting, the weeks of almost – almost kissing, almost touching, that one time Sharon almost pushed Brenda against the wall – then it was that night. It was that needy look in Brenda's eyes, she's sure. She could have stopped it from happening if the blonde didn't look like she actually needed her. _

_It wasn't rushed, nor was it slow. There was an equal amount of need and tentativeness in the way they touched. There was no fight for control; somehow in the bedroom they were able to set aside everything and become one. It wasn't sex; no, it was so much more. Perhaps that's why it scared Sharon. The idea that what happened between them meant more than she thought it would was scary – and not much scared Sharon. Yet, the small woman, who whispered into her ear as her fingers slowly rocked in and out of her, terrified her. _

_The knock on Sharon's door broke her from her reverie and she looked up to see Brenda stick her head in. Sharon's hands gripped the armrests on her chair and she looked out the small glass of her office to her officers. They were all working on various things – it had been a fairly calm day. She turned back to Brenda, but she didn't need to invite her in because the blonde was already closing the door behind her. _

"_Are you busy?" the chief asked, eyes moving across the desk. _

_Sharon opened her mouth to say she was, but that's not what came out. "No," she said, the simple word saying more than she hoped Brenda understood. For the moment she was giving in, allowing whatever was to happen to just happen. _

_Brenda smiled and walked over to the desk, taking a seat and placing her bag in her lap. Brenda looked at her, looked at her as if she was seeing something that she hadn't seen before. The way Brenda's eyes raked over her was unnerving, but she didn't let it show. She stayed there, waiting for Brenda to say whatever it was that she had come to say. _

_When it became clear Brenda wasn't going to speak, Sharon cleared her throat. "Chief- Brenda, as much as I enjoy your impromptu visits, this would move more smoothly if you were to let me know exactly why you're here," she said dryly. _

_Brenda's eyes looked into her own for another moment of silence, and then the blonde huffed and leaned back. "I already told you, I want to see you. You left before the sun was even up the other mornin', and..." Brenda looked away for a moment, and Sharon could see that there was something she wanted to say, something she could also tell she wasn't going to say. _

_Sharon smoothed her hand down her skirt. "I shouldn't have left like that," she admitted. Brenda looked up at her, a look on her face that said 'that's it', and Sharon rolled her eyes slowly. "We also shouldn't have slept together," she told her, her words empty lacking emotion. Brenda's eyes held all the emotion that was needed. Sharon sighed and leaned back in her seat. The sad look in those brown eyes made her realize this wasn't something she was just going to be able to make disappear using the rules. _

"_This was bound to happen, Sharon. You and I both know that much. I don't understand why you've been makin' a big deal 'bout this. We haven't done anythin' wrong, and it's not like you didn't wanna be there." Brenda licked her lips, and, even though Sharon hadn't notice she was doing it, she licked her own lips, her eyes following Brenda's tongue as it slid against her lips. "Sharon," Brenda said; the way Brenda said her name made Sharon sigh. "Can you just put aside your rules for once and let this happen? You want to, I know you do. Just... try." Brenda hadn't let Sharon answer before she stood up and took one quick look at her before leaving. _

_The problem was, Sharon realized, she did want to. She wanted to throw the rulebook away and just be – but she couldn't. If she didn't have her rules, what did she have?_

Right foot. Left foot. Deep breath. Why is everything so difficult? She's trying to run away from her problems. It's been three days since that conversation. Each day she's come to the gym after work, taking her favorite treadmill and running until she felt that familiar pain in her calves. Each night she hopes to push away these feelings she has for the blonde, push away the memories of that night, and forget the conversations she's shared with Brenda since then. Each day she's failed just as much as the day before. Sharon slows down, soon coming to a complete stop. The running isn't going to help her.

When Sharon gets in her car later, she makes a right instead of a left, going towards Brenda's house instead of her own. As she drives there, she tries to think of what to say to make this endless cycle in her mind stop. She needs to figure out what to say to make Brenda understand why it's wrong, why it should have never happened. When she gets to Brenda's house she hasn't thought of anything, though. She parks the car, turns it off, and then gets out. She's still in her gym clothes, her body still sweaty, and her heart's racing. She considered going home to shower first – she doesn't shower in gym showers – but she figured she wouldn't come back out to go to Brenda's house if she went home first.

Sharon's trying to prepare a speech in her mind as she walks up to Brenda's door. Rule after rule, reason after reason, lie after lie. She knocks on the door and then waits a few seconds before she knocks again. With each passing second her brain cancels out the rules, finding a reason why the rule doesn't really apply to them. She knocks again, growing aggravated with her mind, knowing if Brenda doesn't open the door soon, she'll forget every reason why nothing can happen between the two of them. As she's about to knock on the door again, Brenda pulls it open.

"Sharon," Brenda rushes out, confusion in her eyes. Sharon gulps, her stomach in knots. Brenda opens the door wider. "Do you want to come in?"

"No," Sharon answers quickly, her eyes meeting Brenda's. "I just came here to tell you that-" What? As she stands at the door she realizes how ridiculous this is. Had she really driven all the way to her house to only repeat the same words she's told her already?

"Tell me what?" Brenda asks.

Sharon takes a step forward, crossing the space so she's standing in front of Brenda. Her eyes don't leave Brenda's as she leans closer, her hand coming to her neck, and her mouth coming to hers. The kiss is only a brush of their lips, their eyes still open as they look at each other. Sharon sighs against her lips and feels all the worry leave her body.

"I can't stop thinking about you," she whispers against her lips softly. Brenda opens her mouth to say something, but Sharon kisses her instead. The soft hum in Brenda's throat makes Sharon push them back so they're fully inside the house. With her foot she closes the door and then turns so Brenda's pressed against it. Sharon pulls back, looking into curious eyes. "I came to tell you that I couldn't do this anymore," she admits. "But, what really I can't do is forget why I do want this to happen." Sharon steps back, her hands on Brenda's hips.

"What are you sayin'?"

"I can't throw the rulebook away – not yet." Sharon looks down for a brief moment before bringing her eyes back to the hopeful brown ones. "But, I want to see what this is between us, I want to-"

Brenda doesn't allow her to go on, kissing her desperately instead. Sharon melts into the kiss and lets Brenda pull her closer to her. Brenda's hand slides into her hair, her other going to the small of her back, and Sharon's body is connected to Brenda's as much as physically possible. As Brenda kisses her, Sharon's mind clears; all those thoughts that have been plaguing her have disappeared.

Brenda moans as she pulls back, making Sharon look at her. "We don't have to rush this-" Brenda whispers. "I just wanted to know you would stop pushin' me away." Sharon nods, unable to say anything as she catches her breath. Brenda's lips slowly curve up into a smile and it makes Sharon's heart pound in her chest.

As she brings her lips back to hers, she realizes that forgetting is the last thing she wants to do. With Brenda, she just wants to be.

The End.

Hopefully this works for you, dearie. Sorry it took so long, but I've been working on a lot of different things and I forgot all about the last couple of prompts I had left.


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